Today in History
1935 - Social Security Act signed into law. Republicans have been trying to abolish it ever since.
1945 - V-J Day. Not MTV related.
1945 - Steve Martin born. A poor black child.
1947 - Danielle Steel born. Or perhaps someone else did and she took the credit.
1950 - Gary Larson born. On the far side of town.
1959 - Magic Johnson born. Throws rattle at baby Larry Bird.
1959 - The American Football League is created. The NFL said "who?"
1962 - The Beatles fire Pete Best. Ringo was the next Best.
1965 - The Beatles tape their final Ed Sullivan performance. Do their own impressions of Ed Sullivan behind his back.
1966 - Halle Berry born. Still hasn't returned my calls.
1971 - The Who release their fifth album "Who's Next?" Ensuring many of us will attempt to never get fooled, again.
1971 - Bob Gibson throws his only career no hitter. The victims are the Pittsburgh Pirates, who would go on to win the World Series that year. Gibson also had two career two-hitters. Amazingly, Gibson did not throw a pitch, he simply glared at the home plate umpire and the no hitter was declared.
1975 - The Rocky Horror Picture Show debuts. Toast!
1983 - Mila Kunis born. Ashton Kutcher begins his wait.
1984 - Red Dawn, the first PG-13 movie, debuts. Spoiler alert: the kids win.
1987 - Mark McGwire breaks the rookie HR record with 39, breaking the previous record shared by Wally Berger and Frank Robinson. Naturally, we presume.
1994 - The Dream Team II wins Olympic gold. It's only (un)fair.
2000 - Dora the Explorer debuts. Never seen it; can't make joke.
2003 - A power grid failure in the northeastern United States and parts of Canada leaves an estimated 50 million people without power. Trump blames Biden.
2020 – Ted Lasso premieres. Never seen it; can't make joke.
2021 - Tyler Gilbert tosses a no hitter in his major league debut. He beats the Padres, whose fans are probably still bitching about it.
2024 - Aaron Judge hits his 300th home run, becoming the fastest player to that milestone. Strikes out on way to dugout.
