Week #1 NFL Rankings
Here are my totally imperfect NFL team rankings as we enter week one of her 2026 season. Who am I? Why do my rankings matter? Well, they don't, except to me. But I think it might be fun to check in here every week and see how my rankings and game picks (which I will also publish here) stack up. These rankings are purely based on math. It just so happens that my favorite team (since I was 10) is ranked #1 right now, as they are on a lot of preseason rankings done by "professionals". I promise I will never allow favoritism to enter the rankings, though sometimes in the case of ties, I will use intangibles like home team, or other stats to break the stalemate.
Let's get started:
- Los Angeles Rams
- Seattle Seahawks
- New England Patriots
- Buffalo Bills
- Houston Texans
- Detroit Lions
- Baltimore Ravens
- Los Angeles Chargers
- San Francisco 49ers
- Philadelphia Eagles
- Tampa Bay Bucs
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Green Bay Packers
- Chicago Bears
- Jacksonville Jaguars
- Denver Broncos
- Kansas City Chiefs
- Indianapolis Colts
- Cincinnati Bengals
- Atlanta Falcons
- Carolina Panthers
- Minnesota Vikings
- Miami Dolphins
- New York Giants
- Las Vegas Raiders
- Dallas Cowboys
- New Orleans Saints
- Cleveland Browns
- Arizona Cardinals
- Washington Commanders
- New York Jets
- Tennessee Titans
Yes, I know a lot of these are going to look stupid at the end of the season. Hell, some of them may look stupid now (Dallas, Kansas City, Miami, Pittsburgh, Washington). That's the problem when an unreliable narrator uses pure math and not common sense.
In a future column I will give you my personal feelings about each team so you can keep an eye on my biases...which won't be a problem since this will be math-based. Nice try, trolls.
Let me know what you think. My e m a i l is book writer dude at g mail dot com. Make the necessary adjustments to that jumble of letters and fire off your complaints. Or praise if you're into that. If you call me a bad name, I'll cry. Then hunt you down.